GOODBYE PAYCHECKS, HELLO PLAY DATES...MAKING THE DECISION TO STAY AT HOME

Several years ago I hung up my professional suits, gave back my company car and forfeited my generous income. I made one of the single most important decisions in my life: to quit my job and stay home with my kids (then two years old and ten months old). Why did I do that? Believe me, I’ve asked myself this question in earnest more than a couple times, but I always come back to the same answer: to be the one raising my kids.

I never intended to be a stay at home mom....it just happened. I had convinced myself early on that I was a better mother because I worked; that when I was with them I could give them my full attention and all my love. For some people this may be true. But my moment of truth (another story for another time) made me fully aware that this wasn’t the case for me. By the time I came home at the end of the day I was tired (and often still had work to do). My children had spent ten of their eleven hour day to that point in the care of someone else. Not to mention the piles of laundry that greeted me, the snowballing dust bunnies and the stack of crusty dishes left from rushing out that morning. The time I did spend with my kids was largely comprised of getting them ready for someone else to take care of them.

Since my husband had more long term income potential, we mutually decided that I would be the one to stay home. (That, and I’m the neat one). But I had no idea how hard being an at home mom would be. Forget the inconvenience of living on less than half our previous income, I’m talking about the non-stop job of caring for a house and family, keeping two kids two and under from hurting themselves (or each other) and having no choice but to meet the every need of my children. Constantly.

So, do I regret giving up paychecks for play dates? I can’t say I do. I’m not a perfect mom but I’ve learned quite a bit about motherhood, parenting and myself. And if my kids end up completely screwed up? Well, at least I know who to blame.

MORE ABOUT ME

Let me start by telling you who I’m NOT. I am not super mom. Or super wife for that matter. My house is in disarray more often than not and my minivan is a graveyard of fossilized food. I am not a gourmet cook, craft extraordinaire or master gardener.

I AM a thirty-something mother of four young kids, living in suburban Southern California. And I love my family dearly, but in a life amid chaos, I’m lucky to finish a sentence, let alone a complete thought. When I do, I find that I have so much to say, so much to share and so much to learn. And I love to write. So, blogging is a perfect way for me to bring my perspective into focus for all to see.

I also hope it can bring other mothers like me together. Not to judge or lay guilt, but to share a sense of community (and probably a lot of funny stories). We all have a lot to say, a lot to share and a lot to learn. Join me in my journey about motherhood and other musings.