Dressing Out

Yes, that is my daughter. And, yes, I see that she’s wearing pajamas, under boy clothes with a cape, goggles and a fire hat. She’s, shall we say, an interesting dresser. Please do not shake your head in disagreement, resist the urge to explain to her that she isn’t wearing clothes properly or try to encourage her to dress “normally”. I know you have good intentions, but she’s three. She is fearlessly confident in her choice of outfits and is fiercely independent and proud. She’s got the innocence and sensitivity of a sweet child, and please respect that.

To be fair, many of the reactions we get come in the form of warm smiles from nostalgic moms of older kids who love to share stories about their child’s memorable quirks. And I do understand that my daughter’s unique sense of style could easily be misinterpreted as my lack of parenting. But, I assure you, I am doing her a favor.

I’ll admit that, after three boys, I had hopes of cute dresses and curly pig tails. But even before she could walk, she was especially motivated to dress herself. And once she was able to express herself through her attire, I realized that that she not only enjoys it, but it continues to play a crucial role in her development. (Even though I easily end up doing an extra load of laundry each day to accommodate her ever-changing ideas.)

As a former interesting dresser and teenage girl myself, I know that there will be plenty of time for her to feel the unfortunate effects of peer pressure to conform, and that she will eventually come to feel more comfortable in what is appropriate and acceptable. Our role as mothers is to our children is to help shape their confidence and give them the tools they need to be successful human beings. Shaming her about her wardrobe choices at the tender age of three just doesn’t seem to accomplish that. Is it really necessary to cause additional stress because she’d rather dress as a superhero of sorts than a princess? Besides, with four kids and being in constant demand, I couldn’t possibly fight every outfit battle, even if I wanted to.

So, to anyone who feels justified in judging my daughter for her unique sense of style (or me for letting her go out in public that way), I kindly request that you BACK OFF. She is a confident, loving and happy child, and that’s all the really matters.

Do you have an interesting dresser? Give her or him a hug for me.

My Daily Tally

Photo: healingdream

Ever wonder what it’s like having four children? Here’s an account of my daily life summarized in numbers.

ONE+ gallon/s of milk consumed each day
TWO loads of dishes
THREE loads of laundry
FOUR* the multiple of time by which every task takes (5 minute task x 4 to account for the constant interruption of life)
FIVE o’clock am is the time I wake up every day
SIX cups of coffee (according to the coffee pot; according to my giant cup, it’s only two :)
SEVEN thirty bedtime (a quiet house by 8pm)
EIGHT slices of bread eaten in a day (or more)
NINE sibling spats I have to referee
TEN times I clean or wipe the toilet down (and surrounding areas) from 3 distracted boys...

And yet, most days I wouldn't change a thing. And for those days when I forget what a gift motherhood is, I remind myself of the story I read about a mom of young kids who was struck with cancer and was heartbroken because she was incapable of tending the her children and doing things like changing diapers and cleaning toilets. It's not the most glamorous job in the world, but doing these things for the people we love makes us feel whole as mothers.  Wouldn't you agree?

The Talk

If you have a second, third or fourth grader, then you know what “talk” I’m referring to. Yes, that one. The one about the birds and the bees... It’s long overdue- not for my nine year old (he’s still pretty oblivious), but for my seven year old. He’s always been very precocious, so it wasn’t a huge surprise when his teacher told me that he was giving his second grade classmates drawing lessons on adult anatomy. It doesn’t help that he also has a problem with using good judgement about what’s appropriate and what’s not (and he’s also a really good artist- these are not his sketches...his had more detail, if you know what I mean).

Photo sketch by MerryPaws

But that’s not why it’s finally time. It was inevitable that despite bookmarking his parent-approved websites, he’d figured out how to google things on the computer. And by “things” I mean “naked girls”. Ugh. Cringe. Sigh. Sit down.

I think every parent dreads this day. I have even had a good “teaching” book tucked away for the right moment, but I was really hoping it wouldn’t come anytime soon. He’s seven! What happened to my little puppy who loved to cuddle and be silly? Now he sports an attitude and has the humor (and taste) of a stand up comedian. In fact, my husband is convinced that he may just become a comedian someday and all of THESE moments will be fodder for his comedy routines. Oh yes, I’m expecting it ALL to come back from this one some day.

In the meantime, however, I have to have “the talk”. And knowing his ability to remember (too) much, his curiosity and drawing skills, this should be interesting. I don’t think it’s going to help with deterring the art lessons with friends on anatomy, but I guess I’d rather it be my kid who’s informed and telling others rather than him hearing misinformation from others and thinking they’re right. As far as “talks” go, this is just the beginning...

Where is a parenting manual when I need one?

Blogging About Blogging

I can’t be the only one...my husband thinks I’m mildly obsessed with blogging, but he forgets that part of my paid job is to blog. And just because I’m on the computer doesn’t mean I’m blogging...(although he doesn’t need to know that I’d do it more if I could). I do, however, find a much needed outlet in writing and truly part of my motivation is to complete my constantly interrupted thoughts throughout the day.  I'm convinced this is why there are so many mom bloggers- have you ever tried to have a conversation on the phone with 2-4 kids yelling for you (and at each other) and climbing all over you? And I find that taking the time to reflect on life and motherhood really does help put it into perspective and gives it more meaning. More meaning leads to feeling more fulfilled and that leads to greater contentment with it all. What can I say, blogging is my happy place.

Never the less, he’s given himself the title of “blog widower”. He jokes that he’s going to start a blog for husbands who have lost their wives to blogging. Seriously, I think he’s on to something. What do you think?