Camping Out

My 3 year old daughter was born to camp. It’s not her fault, it’s in her genes. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) And she’s only really been real camping once, but she’s a natural.

Which is the one thing I kept going back to over the past year and then some that she’s been sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag. Oh, she has a bed. A nice toddler bed with cute sheets with trains, trucks and airplanes. (She was supposed to have bed with the pretty pink flowered bedding, but true to her personality and intense competitiveness, she decided the bed intended for her brother was to be hers. Good thing he didn’t really care. And no one needs to know his bedding has pink flowers, right?).

But this is all beside the point. Following a visit from her Aunt (who is a wildlife biologist and spends much of her time camping) and thanks to the sleeping bag her Aunt left behind, my daughter has become a floor sleeper. Her bed sits empty while she chooses night after night to sleep in the sleeping bag on the floor. Hey, if she’s willing to actually sleep, I’m not going to complain about where that occurs, as long as I get to also.

So, now that we’ve played musical rooms and switched the bedrooms around, she and her twin brother have inherited the biggest bedroom...with wood floors. I thought this would be my opportunity to get her sleeping in her bed again. It’s not a huge issue, but I do like the thought of her being up off the floor for the sake of things that crawl. And so far she’s been receptive to the idea- as long as she still gets to sleep in her sleeping bag. Okay, great, that’s fair!

But I discovered something. She’s a super squirmy sleeper and has been rolling out of bed (still in her sleeping bag) multiple times a night and onto the wood floor. Her bed is low to the ground and it does have a small guard rail, but it’s no match for the wiggling girl in a sleeping bag that easily hurdles it. So, the problem now is that I’m up 3-4 times every.single.night. getting her back to bed since the hard landing always wakes her up.

She is finally content to sleep in her bed but now I’m not getting enough sleep. I’ll figure out a way to solve this unanticipated problem (I’m thinking it may involve a carpeted indoor tent), but I had to take a moment to examine the irony of how trying to solve what we perceive to be a small problem- like unnecessarily sleeping on the floor- creates a bigger problem. My daughter is not an in-the-box child OR in-the-bed kind of sleeper; the more I can embrace that, the better. However I look at it, it’s a great reminder that, even thought I’m MOM, I don’t know everything...and sometimes she knows best- like the fact that her sleeping habits are just not suited for a bed. Happy camping, my love!

Getting My App Kicked

So, I finally joined the smartphone revolution and invested in an iPhone. I had a Blackberry but apparently I wasn’t smart enough to really figure out the features of my smartphone. Now that I have an iPhone, I have a new appreciation for simple technology (or technology that is so brilliantly complex that the user THINKS it’s simple).

Originally, this post was going to be about the process of going through my old phone and transferring my phonebook. I had intentions of reflecting on all the phone numbers of friends I have been too busy to call and haven’t talked to in too long...phone numbers of parents from a school we have outgrown...phone numbers of people who have moved and with whom I’ve lost touch. And then there are the staple phone numbers of the people I love and depend on, and people, like parents, I don’t call often enough.  It's all a very poignant analogy for how motherhood and life with kids keeps us so busy sometimes that we forget to make the time for things that matter most- like family and friends.

But, then I got distracted. That’s been happening a lot since I got my iPhone. It’s not the phone...it’s the apps. I loved shopping apps and of course couldn’t resist downloading free app after free app.

The problem? I spend most of my precious free minutes here and there playing apps instead of letting my mind wander...processing thoughts...and looking up to take in the world around me. And while I do find solving a hard puzzle very rewarding, it’s not exactly relaxing (why do I insist on frustrating myself to feel that moment of victory?). I probably should be using those moments to do something like read...but that can be equally frustrating when I only get to read in increments of paragraphs instead of pages. And most books don’t fit in my pocket. Or, perhaps, my time would be better spent enjoying the quiet peace.

Ironic how using a device that's designed to make things more convenient causes me to waste my time. And how something that’s designed to be simple seems to be making life a little more complicated. I’m feeling a little conflicted about it all....is it a good thing or a bad thing?

The Ironies of the Holidays

It’s true that Christmas is a magical holiday...but it’s also a stressful one. In an effort to balance the stress imposed by the holidays with providing the “magic” for the kids’ sake, I’m keeping a perspective on the ironies that create this state of holiday craziness.

** I spend 20 minutes circling for a parking space, trying to get in to the store. When I try to leave, I’m stuck in my parking space for another 10, blocked by a car who is stalking someone walking down the aisle. They won’t pull forward for fear that they will miss a parking opportunity and can’t back up because the person behind them has already “claimed” my spot with their signal.

** Forget gift wrapping- what about gift UNwrapping? I’m not interested in paying for gift wrapping when I buy something online, but I WOULD consider paying extra to ship the item in a plain box so that when UPS rings the doorbell and the kids rush the front door to see who it is, they are not witnessing their gifts being delivered.

** With winter weather in southern California (or lack thereof), our kids are forced to skate on synthetic (plastic) ice. To me, this epitomizes so much of what’s wrong with how we celebrate the holidays.

** Every time we make it a point to load up the kids for a fun family tour of Christmas lights, the minute we are stuck in a long line of cars, SOMEone is sure to announce they have to go to the bathroom and it CAN’T wait. Why is it that so many of our well-intentioned family outings become centered around finding bathrooms...?

** We teach our kids that this is the spirit of generosity...and then have them fill out a Christmas list with all the things they want. Next year my kids are making a Christmas list of things they plan to GIVE instead of what they want to RECEIVE.

** Christmas songs are less for entertainment and more for the purpose of reminding us of what we are celebrating and why. We need to sing more.

** With two weeks off of school, the phrase “winter break” takes on a different meaning for kids and parents.

** We go to great lengths to reinforce the importance of being “good” to our children (including honesty, right?)...and reward them with gifts left by a fictional character that we’ve propagated as being real.

** We teach our kids about stranger danger, encourage them not to talk to strangers and scare the daylights out of them about getting within reach of them...and yet this one time of year we force our kids to sit on a perfect stranger’s lap, have a conversation and smile for a picture. It’s no wonder they are so freaked out!

** We wish everyone a “healthy” and “prosperous” new year, and yet most of us have been binging on holiday treats and cookies and over-spending money we don’t have on gifts. Maybe we should wish these things to the people we care about BEFORE the holidays.

So, I wish all of you a patient, generous, fun, well-behaved, portion-controlled, debt-lowering, genuine and meaningful Christmas with the people you know and love.

Dressing Out

Yes, that is my daughter. And, yes, I see that she’s wearing pajamas, under boy clothes with a cape, goggles and a fire hat. She’s, shall we say, an interesting dresser. Please do not shake your head in disagreement, resist the urge to explain to her that she isn’t wearing clothes properly or try to encourage her to dress “normally”. I know you have good intentions, but she’s three. She is fearlessly confident in her choice of outfits and is fiercely independent and proud. She’s got the innocence and sensitivity of a sweet child, and please respect that.

To be fair, many of the reactions we get come in the form of warm smiles from nostalgic moms of older kids who love to share stories about their child’s memorable quirks. And I do understand that my daughter’s unique sense of style could easily be misinterpreted as my lack of parenting. But, I assure you, I am doing her a favor.

I’ll admit that, after three boys, I had hopes of cute dresses and curly pig tails. But even before she could walk, she was especially motivated to dress herself. And once she was able to express herself through her attire, I realized that that she not only enjoys it, but it continues to play a crucial role in her development. (Even though I easily end up doing an extra load of laundry each day to accommodate her ever-changing ideas.)

As a former interesting dresser and teenage girl myself, I know that there will be plenty of time for her to feel the unfortunate effects of peer pressure to conform, and that she will eventually come to feel more comfortable in what is appropriate and acceptable. Our role as mothers is to our children is to help shape their confidence and give them the tools they need to be successful human beings. Shaming her about her wardrobe choices at the tender age of three just doesn’t seem to accomplish that. Is it really necessary to cause additional stress because she’d rather dress as a superhero of sorts than a princess? Besides, with four kids and being in constant demand, I couldn’t possibly fight every outfit battle, even if I wanted to.

So, to anyone who feels justified in judging my daughter for her unique sense of style (or me for letting her go out in public that way), I kindly request that you BACK OFF. She is a confident, loving and happy child, and that’s all the really matters.

Do you have an interesting dresser? Give her or him a hug for me.