This is Motherhood!

Some aspects of parenting come more naturally to me than others. Give me a child who’s sick and I can confidently nurse them back to health in no time. Challenge me with a child who is emotionally complicated and having trouble expressing anger and frustration...watch me panic. I’ve been reminded that I have a lot of work to do when it comes to parenting my nine year old...and myself.

My son has always been especially challenging to me as a parent, mostly because he and I are so alike in so many ways. And this is one of those times when I completely understand where he’s coming from...he’s having issues with a friend because his friend doesn’t want to play the same way as my son. An ongoing power struggle has ensued, which has brought out the meanness in both of them. I know my son doesn’t want to alienate his friend, I know he likes playing with him, but he’s extremely frustrated and angry that he’s not feeling heard or acknowledged and it has manifested itself in a passive-aggressive way. Yet, he blames his friend for his anger because his friend is not cooperating. After giving him my best “you have to take responsibility for your own actions” and “we treat people the way we want to be treated” lecture, the bells rang clearly...

This is motherhood!

I live this constantly and on a daily basis. How many times a day do I tell my kids, “If you would just listen....”? Admittedly, my BIGGEST challenge as a mom is to RESPOND and not REACT to situations. My son’s too. Which is why I know I must model how to stop myself, reflect on the problems that arise, consider other people’s perspectives and work towards a solution. Calmly.

Once again I am reminded that motherhood makes me a better person because it puts my own character flaws in the spotlight and motives me to change them for the sake of my children. What has your journey taught you lately?

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Oh, and I’m feeling a little less croppy these days, thanks to Audra Baecker of audrasphotography.net.  SO much better than the holding-the-camera-out-in-front technique, don't you think?

Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar?

I love my kids. I’d give my life for my kids. But they can’t have my cookies.

I know it sounds selfish, and it probably is (despite my rationale that I’m preventing them from eating unhealthy food by eating it myself), but motherhood is the second-ultimate sacrifice. Your life (and in the early stages your body) are not your own.

So in a life with kids where I can’t use the bathroom for two minutes without being beckoned by a loud “maaaahhhhaaammm” and my every activity revolves around responding (notice I don’t say “meeting”) their every demand there are a few sacred moments/rituals/items that bring me temporary joy and refuel my spirit for motherhood. Coffee at the crack of dawn by myself at the kitchen table is one of them....chocolate chip cookies is another. (It’s a good thing that running is another one...).

I keep my secret cookie stashes strategically placed around the kitchen and have perfected the art of sneaking them...or so I thought. I got caught red-handed again today by my oldest who demanded I show him what was in my hand. Talk about a role reversal! I balked for a second at the thought of sharing and then surrendered to guilt. But when I showed him he just smiled. He didn’t even ask for any (what can I say, he’s well trained!). I was so relieved by his reaction that it made me realize that sometimes it’s more important to be playful and mischievous than to be the ever rule-enforcing mom. We could all use a little more smiling and giggling.

I am unapologetic about my love for cookies and my reluctance to share them, but I think my kids love me anyway. So, I admit it, I stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

What do you rely on to get you through the day?

Under the Weather

Absolutely, without question, one of the hardest parts of being a mom is when your child is sick. (Actually, the even harder part is being a sick mom, but that’s another story).

As moms we are programmed to become ultra-nurturing, extra protective and usually hyper-sensitive to symptoms when our little ones are feeling under the weather. After all, it’s our job to take care of them, and they need us more than ever when they’re sick. And I don’t mean a runny nose or daycare cough kind of sick...I mean fever-bearing, curled up on the couch just wanting to be held kind of sick.

It’s exhausting as a parent, especially when being nursemaid means getting up throughout the night for several days to give medicine and comfort. Not to mention having to tend to other kids.  So much so, that I am seriously questioning what state of mind I must have been in during the first year with twins...I guess the good news is that I don’t remember most of it (my body’s defense mechanism, I’m sure).

Anyway, all this pondering about illness made me wonder where the expression “under the weather” came from and what it’s supposed to mean. Here are some of the definitions I found:


under the weather
1. Somewhat indisposed; slightly ill.
2. Slang
     a. Intoxicated; drunk.
     b. Suffering from a hangover.


Under the Weather
'This popular phrase for "ill" dates back to 1827. It is commonly believed that bad weather can make you sick. One opinion about this idiom is that "under the weather" is an old sailor phrase used when men on a ship were sick, they would rest below “the weather [main] deck” and thus were literally "under" the weather on deck.'


Under the Weather
'When it's gray and rainy out, does that affect how you feel? This expression comes from the idea that bad weather might hurt a person's health and mood. The saying also may be related to "under the weather bow," the part of a boat that will take the force of rough seas during stormy weather. If you were in that part of the boat, you might get seasick!'

There is obvious reference here to being sick on a ship, but I’m still not clear if that’s seasickness or intoxication...? In our case, neither applies, but if we’re going to be sick at least we can learn something from it, right? (I mean something other than self diagnosing some terminal illness thanks to Google).

That concludes today’s lesson. Any questions?