Having an Identity Crisis

I had one several years ago when I first decided to stay home. I found it difficult to transition from my official, hard-earned work title to the very unglamorous, generic title of “mom”. I struggled with how to fill in forms when they asked for my occupation...”mom” seemed too vague and since it was not a paid position, didn’t seem relevant. “Wife” implied no kids, which pretty much implies no work, which was no where near accurate. “Volunteer” seemed too contradictory, since that would imply that I had the freedom to come and go as I pleased, pick and choose which responsibilities I took on and make my own decisions about how and when to help others. No... “servant” might be a better description...but maybe a bit too harsh. And “President” and “CEO” of our household seemed a bit of a stretch. Then there are all the smaller jobs that I fulfill, like tutor, cook, nurse, chauffer, coach, teacher, nanny, housekeeper (the list goes on...), but that brings me back to the fact that none of these are paid positions. So, who am I?

I finally made peace with the title of “at-home mom”. Having been a working mom, I felt that somehow having an occupation outside of “mom” precluded me from being “mom” on these silly forms. At least “at-home mom” makes it clear that I work hard to take care of my kids, family and home. And I REFUSE to fill in “none” for my occupation.

So, here I am, several years later, and I’m facing the same identity crisis. Only this time, I’m going back to work (kind of). I’ve started taking on some part time work, but I’m left questioning how this changes my “occupation”. Now I’m a “working at-home mom”...or do I list my part time occupation as my primary occupation and not mention being at home with kids? Or, does part time work not even count as a true occupation, and should I should omit it completely? But it’s work that I do- paid work- and shouldn’t that count for something?

I’ve now settled on the official title of “part time working at home mom”. It’s kind of long, but it says it all...the only question left to answer now, is do I list my family or my paid job as my employer?